Tuesday, July 14, 2009 – Day # 6 of recovery

I went to bed last night at around 11pm. My mom and I realized last night that I need to refill my medicine today. I only have enough left for one day. Wow, I can’t believe I went through 600 mL of a narcotic drug, and I need more. I actually started feeling anxious when I thought of the possibility of not getting more of the painkiller. Not a good feeling. I slept a little better than usual last night, but was still in bad pain when I got up to take my 1:10am and 5:10am doses of Hycet. Now that the scabs are starting to come off, drinking cold water feels like sticking needles into my throat. The right side still hurts way more than the left side. They must have had to cut more out on that side. It was the worst tonsil.

I sat on the couch again after my 9:10am dose, and drank my slim-fast and water, with ice packs wrapped around my neck and jaw. I’m really getting tired of all the swelling. I want to get a good picture of what’s going on in there, but I can hardly open my mouth. And my tongue is huge and in the way all of the time. I’ve never had a problem flattening my tongue for an unobstructed view of my throat, so this swelling is very annoying to me. Not mention uncomfortable! I tried to eat an omelet and toast at about 9:30am, but had to give up halfway through because of the pain and because I got very sleepy. I went to lounge on the couch again, and my mom went to the pharmacy to get my refill. I slept on the couch until she got back at close to 12noon with my meds and a protein smoothie. I always feel worse when I wake up, but I tried to drink the smoothie right away. Bad idea. My ears blossomed in pain, and I couldn’t swallow more than a few sips. I almost started crying again, because I really wanted to be able to drink the smoothie for my mom. She was in a good mood when she came home, and I was disappointed that I couldn’t feel better for her. I promised her I would eat it after my 1:10pm dose, and spent the next 30 minutes with ice packs on my ears. Some friends stopped by at around 12:40pm and I still felt and looked like crap. They were very nice, and thankfully left after only about 10 minutes. I busied myself with brushing my teeth and washing my face and putting in my contacts, and generally trying to feel like a human again, until it was time for take my medicine. I asked my mom if she wanted to watch another movie, but she said she was going to take a nap. She seemed disappointed that I couldn’t feel better for her, too. I made myself not cry again, and took my medicine. I lugged the smoothie, a yogurt, and Jello with whipped cream to the couch with me, and ate them while I watched TV. The pain really is not as severe, but my spirits seem lower than ever. I was hoping even the little improvements would make me feel at the least relieved, at the most joyous… But I feel neither. Just tired, and still in pain. I did feel better by the time my mom woke up, and I made myself eat the buttered toast from my breakfast.

I took a shower, and by that time, my dad was home from work. He brought me a soft taco and a side of beans and cheese from Taco Bell, and after I took my 5:10pm dose, I felt hungry enough to try to eat it. Took me an hour, but I ate most of the taco, and about half the beans. I felt a mild scraping feeling in my throat while I ate, and I hoped that meant more of the scabs had come off. I did not feel quite as swollen, so I tried to see how far I could open my mouth, and happily, I was able to see into my holes. More of the stuff has definitely come off, and it’s looking more red/pink of fresh exposed skin, less of the white coating. My dad took today’s pictures, and both of my parents exclaimed happily over the change in my throat:

It looks like I am starting to reach the first glimmers of light at the end of the tunnel, at last! About darn time, I must say. I am really hoping that tonight will be less painful. I almost dread going to sleep at night, because getting up for medicine doses and making myself drink water in the dead of night are the worst part for me. I am looking forward to erasing that from my schedule as soon as possible. I’m ready to say, “I am better!” I hope to exclaim that from the rooftops very soon.