Why Am I Posting This? A little about me...

Hi! I have decided to post my tonsillectomy story for all of you, because as I was trying to research about my surgery, I could not find a whole lot out there on the net about what to expect for adults. So, I hope this will be helpful to those of you who are considering having this surgery.

I am female, 25 years old, and have been struggling with huge, crypt-ridden nasty tonsils for as long as I can remember. I should have had them out as a child, but for some reason it never happened. My mother apologizes to me for that to this day. In my late teens, they got particularly bad, as I developed “tonsil stones” or gross smelly balls of gunk that I had to pick out of my tonsils nearly every day. Constant low-grade sore throat and ear pain was the norm, punctuated by bouts of excruciatingly painful tonsillitis. So I jumped at the chance to get them out when my insurance deductible was finally met this year. I should note that I had the traditional electrocautery method to remove my tonsils, not the new Coblation method.

I should warn you now that although I had firmly made up my mind to have the surgery and did all I could to prepare myself for what was to come, some of my entries are very candid and frankly, I was quite miserable at times. I have also included pictures of what my throat really looked like, so if you can't handle pictures..you may not want to scroll down. But I encourage you to be brave and have a look. It really is helpful for you. I hope you enjoy my story!

Amanda

Wednesday July 8, 2009 – Day of Surgery

My mom and I arrived at the Surgery Center at 7:35am. My surgery is scheduled for 8:45am. I check in at the reception desk, and sign the usual paperwork. A wristband is slapped on my right wrist, and I sit down and read a few pages of a book until we are called back. I’d say we waited only 5-10 minutes. The nurse takes me back and sends me to the bathroom to pee in a cup and change my clothes. Thankfully, I am allowed to keep my pajama bottoms on underneath the obligatory open-backed hospital gown. At least the gown isn’t paper… Real fabric, and a sturdy thread-count to boot. Also, I get some nice tan socks with rubber bits on the bottom for traction. The rubber is even in the shape of a smiley face! How cheerful! When I am finished in the bathroom, I go to my bed where my mom is waiting. My last name is taped to the bottom of the bed, so no chance of losing me. I sit on the bed at the nurse’s bidding, and she takes my temperature with a funny little disposable plastic strip. She has me take two Tylenol and a Phenergan (anti-nausea med) with a sip of water. My blood pressure is taken, and now its time for the thing that makes me nervous – the IV. I’m not scared of needles, or even blood or pain, but the last time I had to have an IV, it was a traumatizing experience because they couldn’t find a vein to get it in! Lots of poking and pain and bruises everywhere. I am really hoping at this point that I will not have a repeat performance. Granted, last time I was dehydrated from a God-awful bowel prep (but that is another story entirely!), and I am praying that this time will be different. I tell the nurse about my previous experience, and says she has had trouble getting IVs herself, but assures me that she won’t have a problem. (Like I’ve never heard that particular line before!) She ties off the tourniquet, and has me hang my arm down and pump my fist… “Wow, you don’t have any veins showing, do you? I’d better get the smaller catheter.” She comments as she examines my arm, and I groan inwardly. Great, just what I need to hear right now! “Well, there IS one here, which is usually our ‘desperate’ site… Let me see your other arm.” She commands, and I show her my right arm. “…Nope, lets just stick with this arm.” So she numbs the ‘desperate’ vein (on the inside of my left wrist) and puts the IV in. It goes in blessedly quickly and painlessly. I breathe a big sigh of relief, and tell her she did a good job. She chuckles and says “I told you it wouldn’t be a problem.” Well, at this point the potential worst is over with, so I am feeling better. The Anesthesiologist comes in then, and explains what he is going to do. He looks in my throat and exclaims “Oh yeah! You’ll be happy to get those out!” (Yeah, ya think?) I sign another form, and then my surgeon, Dr. Spiess, comes in and shakes my hand. He asks me if I’m ready and I say “Oh yeah!” so he says he’ll see me soon. The nurse comes back and says Dr. Spiess had a cancellation this morning, so I’ll be going into surgery 20 minutes earlier than scheduled. That makes me happy. I’m ready to get this over with. I’ve already said my goodbyes to the huge hunks of tissue in the back of my throat. I will not miss them. The nurse injects my “cocktail” of drugs to make me relax and says I may start to feel dizzy. I can feel burning as the drugs enter my veins, and I do feel dizzy almost right away. I lay my head back and then…. I wake up in recovery.

I don’t remember being wheeled into the Operating Room at all. Not even moving down the hall, which is interesting, because for my past surgery (laparascopy of the abdomen for endometriosis) I remember very clearly being wheeling into the OR and moved onto the table before the anesthesia was given. I expected to wake up with bad sharp pain in my throat, but I was very pleasantly surprised to only have a mild sore throat. I had more of a sensation of thickness in my throat than pain. The nurse tells me the surgery went great. I believe she asked me how my pain was (I was still a little out of it!) and I’m pretty sure I told her a 3. (They make you rate your pain from 0-10, ten being the worst) She smiles approvingly and hands me a little cup with orange liquid in it. Lortab, she tells me, or liquid Vicodan. I take it, and am happy that it does not hurt much to swallow. She then hands me a Styrofoam cup with ice water and tell me to drink. (It is extremely important to drink water with this surgery. You MUST stay hydrated, or the pain and risk of complications is worse.) I drink the water and start crunching on the ice chips and it does feel good on my throat. She asks me if I feel nauseated, and I tell her no. Thankfully, my body seems to handle anesthesia very well. I’ve never had any negative reactions at all. She says I am doing excellent and after a few minutes, she tells me to stand up and go to a recliner chair nearby. I stand up just fine, and she makes sure I’m steady before helping me to the recliner. I still feel good. When I’m settled in the chair, she reclines it and wheels me around the corner behind some curtains, where she hangs up my IV and then my mom comes in and smiles at me. She tells me the surgery was VERY fast, only about 20 minutes, and that it is now 9:30am. So most of the time was spent coming out of the anesthesia, apparently. She asks me how I am feeling and I smile and say I feel much better than I thought I would. I am talking easily, which I am pleased with, and the nurse gives me more water and ice, since I finished off the first cup already. I continue powering through the ice water, and I am feeling more alert, especially when my mom gives me my glasses back, so I can see finally. The nurse gives us my discharge papers and instructions, and has my mom sign them. She tells me to not use straws (the suction can dislodge the scabs and cause bleeding), not to blow my nose for a week, try not to cough (same reason, only from the pressure) and I am free to eat anything but chips and pretzels (sharp edges are a no-no). She also gives my mom the Rx for my pain med, Hycet (liquid hydrocodone and acetaminophen). The doctors and nurses told me several times each to make sure to take my pain med on time, every 4 hours in the beginning, and don’t let it get out of control. (I take that very seriously, as I have experienced out of control pain, and let me tell you, it is NOT fun! Take your medicine!) My mom tells me that the surgeon said everything went perfectly and smooth, and there was virtually no bleeding. (Yay!) Apparently he said that my tonsils were very icky. (Not sure if that is the exact medical terminology Dr. Spiess used, but it is definitely true nonetheless!) They definitely needed yanked. The nurse came in again and told me it was time to try walking around, so she helped me up and we walked to the bathroom around the corner. (The first of the kajillion times I’ve gone today, and no end in sight. I might as well be writing this from my bathroom right now! Speaking of… be right back.)

Okay, feeling better. While I was in the bathroom at the surgery center, I took the opportunity to look at my throat for the first time. Couldn’t see real up close, but I could definitely see white patches on each side. I was told that is the normal color of scabs in the throat, they look white because they are wet, and should remain as wet as possible. I guess I was taking longer than I should have, because the nurse opened the door and peeked in while I was drying off my hands. The nurses constantly checked on me and held my arm as I walked like they thought I might fall down. I guess some people do. I felt quite good, just a bit light-headed from the pain medicine. By the time I walked back to my recliner, and the nurse asked me to rate my pain again, it was only a 1. I was very pleased with how I felt. I was anticipating feeling horrible, but I didn’t even feel that bad. I know, I know, the horribleness is coming. I am expecting that it will hit me in another day or two, but for now I am enjoying feeling good. I guess I am doing better than expected, because the nurses said more than once that I was doing “excellent”. I know I was doing better than the poor kid next to me in recovery; she started throwing up right away. I think she had a tonsillectomy as well. I wince just thinking about throwing up with my throat in this condition. Traumatizing. Poor kid. Well, she eventually stopped, and they sent her home a few minutes before me. When the nurse was satisfied that I was keeping down my ice and water, she took out my IV, and asked me if I wanted to see the anesthesiologist before I left. I said no. She then said I was cleared for discharge and left me to get dressed. She told my mom where to pick me up, and told me to sit back down to wait for her. She was determined not to let me stand or walk on my own…It was cute. :) So I obediently sat back down and waited for her to come get me to walk me to the car. She made sure I was settled in the passenger seat, and we said our thank yous and goodbyes. Then it was off to the pharmacy for my meds. I had my dose of liquid Vicodan at 9:10am (they wrote it on my discharge papers) and I was due for first dose of Hycet at 1:10pm. It was now 10:35am.

I was feeling good so I told my mom we could go to the store first, instead of dropping me off at home. I was glad I was feeling so good, because we ended up having to go to two stores, and still came home empty handed. Apparently, Hycet is not a very popular drug, so some pharmacies don’t even carry it. We had a list of pharmacies that keep it in stock, but even the Walgreens and CVS didn’t have the full quantity for me. My Rx said 600 mL, but Walgreens only had 60 mL, and CVS only 70 mL. That wouldn’t even be enough for one full day! I am supposed to take 15 mL (1 Tablespoon) every 4 hours. So we went home frustrated, and my mom called around and found that Kroger pharmacy had the full quantity, so she went back out to get it for me. Not to scare anyone, but it is an expensive drug. For me, at least. Rx meds go toward my deductible, so I have to pay the full price until my deductible is met. 600 mL of Hycet cost me $148.14. Ouch. But I’d prefer the pain in my wallet over the pain in my throat. So I sucked it up and paid it. I did receive a $20 rebate form from the Surgery Center for it. That should have tipped me off to how expensive it is. Oh well. When I got home, my dad and then my sister called. They were both surprised when I answered the phone and was able to talk to them. I keep continually drinking ice water at home, and my mom made me 2 runny eggs, which went down fine. Then I had a vanilla yogurt, which felt fine also. My throat started hurting more as the morning wore on, until it was a steady sore throat. Still not very bad though. I looked closer at my throat in my mirror at home, and I am surprised by how deep the holes are. It looks like the sides of my throat have been carved out with a melon baller. In a sense, I guess that’s exactly what happened. I asked my Dad to take a picture of my throat, which you can see here:

I took my first dose of Hycet at 1:10pm, (it is pink, which surprises me, because the doc said not to eat anything pink/red/purple because it looks like blood.) It burned a little going down, but not enough to even wince at. My throat started feeling better quickly. Interestingly, when I eat, my tongue feels a bit numb. Not excessively so, just enough to notice a strange sensation. A few hours later, I felt hungry again, so I ate 2 more eggs and a bowl of cream of wheat. By this time my throat is hurting again, worse than before. It feels like when I had tonsillitis, in that it only really hurts when I swallow or talk, but the pain is not as severe as tonsillitis…yet. I am now eating a mango ice pop and, of course, drinking ice water. My ears feel ever so slightly sore. It is getting a bit harder to talk, I prefer to stay quiet for the most part, but I can talk if I want. The bad pain will come, I know, I can feel it, but for now I really can’t complain.

Thursday July 9, 2009 – Day #1 of recovery

I did not nap at all during the day yesterday. I am just not a napper, so by the time I finally went to bed last night at 10pm, I had quite a headache despite the narcotic pain killers. I was able to brush my teeth fine, although, of course, I could not reach all the way to my back teeth, but I managed as well as I could. The toothpaste did not hurt or burn as I have heard others complain about. I guess my uvula is not as swollen as many of the poor souls in the blogs I have read, and I had no trouble laying flat on my bed with only one pillow. I did not really expect to sleep well, although I did hope to. I am a sleeper, and since I do not nap during the day, when I do not get my sleep at night I tend to be quite miserable. I had to set my alarm for 1:10am, and 5:10am to take my regular doses of Hycet. The doctors and nurses all warned me to not ever skip a dose in the beginning, and believe me, there was no way I was going to. I was counting down the minutes until I could take my next dose during the night. I only dozed until 1:10am, by which time my throat was quite painful and I winced whenever I had to swallow. Every time I looked at the clock during the night, I tried to take a few sips of the water that I had on my bedside table. When my alarm went off, I got up and went to the bathroom, got more ice water, and took my dose of pain medicine. I also should note that I had a vaporizer going next to my bed the whole night. Anything to keep the throat moist is essential. By the time 5:10am rolled around, I was definitely ready for my pain meds, but the pain was not as severe as it had been at 1:10am. After the 5:10am dose, I actually (blessedly!) fell asleep until my mom came in at 9:10am to tell me it was time for more medicine.

At that point, I got up for the day, and after taking my medicine, I sat down to eat breakfast: two eggs and half a piece of toast. After a few bites, I unfortunately started feeling light-headed and nauseated. I was half-expecting it, because I have a tendency toward hypoglycemia anyways, and I knew from past experience that, for me, narcotic drugs and an empty stomach equal a low blood sugar attack. I managed to tell my mom what was going on and as I layed my head down on the table, she got me a can of Slimfast and some straight sugar water. I supped on those with my head still on the table as I waited it out. If any of you have ever had a low blood sugar attack, you know there is not much else to do than close your eyes and wait it out. Definitely do NOT try to get up, or you may pass out. Get sugar in your system as soon as possible, and lay down until your system equalizes itself. From now on, I think I will make sure I have a sugary drink before I even get out of the bed in the morning, and that should prevent another attack. After the light-headedness and nausea passed and I felt strong again, I ate the rest of my breakfast, and continued pushing the ice water as I settled on the couch to read a book.

The Surgery Center called at 12:30pm and asked how I was feeling. I had just finished eating a Del Monte Fruit Chillers snack, which is basically pureed fruit that you can freeze. It tastes like sorbet. I bought it on recommendation in Sofi29’s blog “Chronicles of a Coblation Tonsillectomy” about her experience. I suggest that you read her story, it is informative and quite funny, and it helped me to prepare for my own surgery. I had the mango flavor of the Fruit Chillers, and it was soothing to my throat, so I was able to talk to the nurse on the phone when she called. She asked me how I would rate the service I got at the Surgery Center (Very good), how I was feeling (In pain, but otherwise okay), was I drinking a lot of water (Yes), was the pain medicine helping (Yes). I told her about how difficult it was to find a pharmacy that carried the sufficient amount of the Hycet, and how nice it would be if we could have been told ahead of time which Rx it was so that we could call around to find it before the surgery. She understood, and asked me to include that information on the satisfaction survey that they will e-mail to me, and to inform my surgeon at my follow-up appointment, so that they can have it on file and talk to the doctor about it. I told her I would definitely do that.

For lunch, I had some mashed up spaghetti, the Fruit Chillers, and of course, lots of ice water. It all went down fine. Interestingly enough, my throat does not hurt unless I am swallowing, eating, or talking. When my throat is at rest, I do not have any real pain to speak of. Only a thick feeling and little discomfort.

I took a shower, then spent most of the afternoon on the computer or reading. I was able to eat the dinner my mom cooked for the family: Rice with stir-fry veggies and chicken. I took small bites and chewed thoroughly. After my 5:10pm dose of Hycet, I was able to open my mouth wide enough for my Dad to take today’s picture. I don’t think it looks that much different, but you can see that my uvula is a bit more swollen than yesterday:

As the evening progressed, my pain has gotten better. Really, I’m feeling quite good; it’s a little unnerving. I keep expecting the really bad pain to hit me. My neck muscles are sore, but if I’m not engaging the muscles (i.e. eating, swallowing, talking) I actually forget that I had any surgery at all. I feel very normal. It is surprising! I wish it would last… But I’m not that stupid. I’ll just count my blessings and enjoy it while it lasts. I hope this means I will get to sleep well tonight. I’m still pushing the ice water. The only thing I am noticing is a funny little sound my throat makes when I swallow thick liquids like yogurt and applesauce. Not sure what that is all about, but it is not any more painful than usual. Also, I haven’t had a bowel movement in two days… and I have been very regular of late. I just ate another yogurt, hoping this will help it along. I feel a bit bloated and I don’t enjoy that sensation. I will take a stool softener tonight if nothing happens.

Friday July 10, 2009 – Day #2 of recovery

Well, I did sleep much better last night, but along with sleep came the dreaded ear pain. Every time I attempted to drink, take medicine, basically swallow or engage my neck muscles at all, there was bad pain that radiated into both ears. So if I kept very still, I was able to sleep, but once I started moving around the pain was pretty bad. I made sure to drink a Slimfast in bed before I got up for the day, so I did not have a low blood sugar attack today. That’s about the only positive thing I can say for today though. As the day has worn on, the pain has gotten worse. My tongue and mouth are very swollen, and every muscle in my neck is super sore. The ear pain has lessened slightly, but now having pain radiating into the right side of my jaw. I have an ice pack wrapped around my neck, and my mom just made me a protein smoothie because I can’t eat very well right now, and I’m hungry. I still have an hour and a half until I can take more pain killer. My mom says I feel warm, like I may have a fever, which the nurse said may happen. I can’t talk well, either, so I am trying to communicate without moving my mouth as much as possible. It’s really not helping that I’m watching Oprah on TV and her friend Gayle is rating the best sandwiches in America. I’m really wanting that big sloppy Parmesan Chicken sandwich they just ate in front of me!

Well, I’m trying to stay positive and remember that this excruciating pain means I’m healing, right? And the pain has to peak sometime. So I am forcing down the Jello and waiting until my next dose of pain meds, and then I am retreating to bed. I hope tomorrow will be better…or at the very least, not worse than today. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep from crying if it gets worse.

Saturday July 11, 2009 – Day #3 of recovery

Okay, sometime during the night, I decided that this is almost not worth it. Before you start throwing all of my words of certainty back in my face, please note that I said almost not worth it. I am still convinced that I will look back at this and be glad that I did it, but if I had truly understood the full extent of the pain I would suffer, would I have gone through with the surgery? I’m honestly not sure. This experience has pushed me to the limits of how much pain I thought I could feel. I can frankly say that I have never felt such excruciating pain in my life, nor do I ever wish to feel it again. I gave up and went to bed last night at 9:30pm, praying for unconsciousness. Sleep is the only thing that gives me any reprieve from the world of pain that I am living in. I slept until my alarm went off for my next dose of Hycet, or until the pain finally woke me up, whichever came first. If the pain is what woke me up first, I would count down the minutes until I could take my pain medicine. Even the Hycet only succeeded in dulling the pain and helping me sleep, therefore starting the whole cycle again. I tried not to swallow until I was able to choke down the pink liquid that is my only savior in this never-ending nightmare of pain. I stood, my eyes squeezed shut, muscles tensed and rigid from pain, gasping for breath until the Hycet started working its magic on my throat and ears. Only then could I go to the kitchen for more ice water. I sat on my bed, in the pitch black of either 1:15am or 5:15am, and each time forced myself to gulp down a big glass of freezing ice water before I would let myself sink back onto the bed and into the blessed oblivion of sleep. Combine that with the fever that hasn’t gone away, and if you had peered into my room after one of these twice-nightly rituals, you would have found me lying on top of my blankets, shaking uncontrollably from the shock of the pain or ice cold water filling my stomach, I’m not sure which. Probably both. Thankfully, that only lasted until the hydrocodone in my medicine kicked in, and then I felt high as a kite. I actually had to open my eyes once to check that I wasn’t literally floating a few inches off my bed. Haha! It seems funny now. Never having done any kind of illegal drugs in my life, I suppose I should appreciate this, the one and only time I’ve ever felt “high” and its legal! :) Finally, in this blissed out state, I fall asleep, and my dreams are very interesting and detailed. I think if I could remember any of them, I could write a pretty cool book from their content. In any case, I didn’t get out of bed until about 11:30am. And even then I only got up because I didn’t want my parents to freak out and think I had died in bed. (Seriously, my mom checked on me enough in the morning that it was justifiable.)

When I finally did get up, my sister came over to help me while my parents went out for the afternoon. I could not talk really at all, so I tried to sign to my family (I really do know American Sign Language) but it was slow-going, since they only know a few signs. They did good though, and I only had to resort to writing down what I wanted to say one time. My parents left, and my sister and I were settling in to watch a movie after my 1:10pm dose of Hycet when I suddenly got a severe “tickle” in my throat, on the right side, and felt the urge to cough. I was warned to try NOT to cough, so I tried to suppress it, and drank a ton of water to try to smooth it out, but nothing worked. I ended up coughing several times, pretty hard, and I was scared to death that I was going to start bleeding. My poor sister was freaking out, since I couldn’t communicate with her during all of this, and she probably thought I was going to bleed out on her watch. Poor thing! I hurried to the bathroom to try to see what my throat looked like, but my mouth was so swollen and sore that I couldn’t see beyond the top of the holes. I did not see or taste any blood, so I figured I was okay. I kept trying to coax my mouth open more, until I could see most of the holes, which have been totally white, are now spotted with a darker color. I think this means I’m starting to scab over. We tried to take a picture, but they did not come out very good, sorry!:

At least on the right side, which is the worst and biggest hole, this new sensation does not feel good. It feels like something is hanging halfway down my throat, but I guess it is just the scab being continually touched or stimulated, which makes me want to either gag or cough. Usually both. Good thing I am well practiced in suppressing my gag reflex, from all those years of sticking toothpicks into my tonsils to clean the stones out. So I am dealing okay with the less-than-pleasant sensation in my throat. If I try not to engage my neck muscles as much as possible, the pain is more manageable today than it was yesterday.

My biggest complaint so far is that I cannot swallow at all without excruciating pain. That means I cannot eat or drink as much as I should, because it hurts so much that I will start to tear up. And if I start to cry I know I will feel even worse, both physically and emotionally. And it will make my family feel horrible to see me cry. So I am trying to time my eating and drinking in massive amounts after I have had my dose of Hycet, when I can stand the pain. I’ve noticed that my saliva has become very thick in my mouth, but everything in there is swollen, and I am still peeing a lot, so I think I’m getting enough water. Planning to go to bed early tonight too, although I am not as desperate for sleep tonight as I was last night. That must be improvement, right?! (Please say yes!)

On a side note, I did end up taking a stool softener on Thursday night, and I did have one bowel movement on Friday morning. Could not stand the thought of swallowing a pill yesterday, so I have not taken any more stool softeners, but I am trying to work up the courage to take one tonight. I do not enjoy feeling bloated and gaseous. I don’t think I should have to deal with that also, on top of everything else. No fair! (Okay, done complaining now.) Here’s hoping tomorrow will be even a little bit better!

Sunday, July 12, 2009 – Day # 4 of recovery

Well, I ended up not going to bed last night until 11pm. After I took my 9:10pm dose of Hycet, I made myself eat and drink as much as I could, because I knew I was getting weak from lack of food. I have found that having ice packs wrapped around my neck help with the swelling and pain. When I got up for my 1:10am dose, I did not drink any water before I took my med, which made the medicine burn pretty bad going down. It took quite a while until I was able to start drinking the ice water. Thankfully, my mom did not come in my room until I had drunk almost the whole cup, and was finally feeling better. She’s caught on the fact that I am putting on a brave face for her and hiding most of my worst pain from her. I don’t want her to have to suffer needlessly with me, so I have been suffering in silence. At my 5:10am dose, I was knocked breathless by the ear pain. I wondered how I could be in so much pain and still be upright. How bad does the pain have to be until it is finally too much for the body and one passes out on the floor? I am learning about whole new worlds of pain that I didn’t even dream existed until today. I am clinging feverishly to the hope that what doesn’t kill you really will make you stronger. I should be quite strong after this.

My mom put oil in my ears this morning after my 9:10am dose of Hycet. I think it helped, and I went straight back to sleep. I did not get up until after 12noon today. I know I am probably sleeping too much, and letting my throat get too dry and swollen, but I just can’t help it. I have to sleep, or I’m not sure I’d be able to make it through this. For breakfast, I had a Vanilla Slim-Fast drink, one runny egg, and an orange Ice pop. The pictures for today show the scabbing a little more clearly:

Monday, July 13, 2009 - Day # 5 of recovery

I went to bed last night at around 10:30pm. I was not in too much pain, so I thought it would not be as bad of a night. Wrong. I woke up when my clock said 1:10am, but I forgot in my stupor that this clock is 45 minutes fast (a successful attempt on my part to delude myself into thinking I have more time to sleep in the morning when I hit snooze). Usually, my brain automatically adjusts for the correct time, and I look at the time on my cell phone, which is what I rely on for the alarms to wake me up, but not this morning. So I didn’t realize that I had taken my medicine 40 minutes early until I looked at the clock in the kitchen when I got my ice water and it said 12:30am. Whoops. But let me tell you, the pain didn’t think it was 40 minutes too early. I was hurting. So I didn’t worry too much about it, and went back to bed. The next time I woke up was at 3:30am. Although I had drunk my huge glass of ice water before I went back to bed, and my vaporizer was on, my throat felt thick and dry, and I couldn’t stay in bed. I went to the kitchen and got an ice pack for my neck and the last freezer pop. It was red, but I didn’t care. My throat burned horribly, right in the middle where your uvula is. I knew I couldn’t have anymore Hycet for a while, so I sat on the couch’s recliner, and forced myself to drink more ice water and choke down the freezer pop in an attempt to numb my throat. It was agony. However, it did eventually work, and the pain subsided enough for me to fall asleep on the couch. The next time I woke up it was almost 5am. I got up and gulped down the Hycet, which made my ears burst into an inferno of pain. I decided I’d rather brave this inferno than deal with the throat/uvula pain again though. It was brutal. I went back to bed with my ice water, and after the pain got better I drank the whole glass and had just layed down to wait for the high to hit me when my mom came in and checked on me. I was able to talk again by this point, so I told her that when I get up for my 9:10am dose I wanted to sit on the couch with ice packs on my neck, because I decided that felt better than going back to bed once again. She said that was fine. After that I fell asleep again and had some pretty bizarre dreams, one of which I made myself remember so that I could tell everyone. In my dream, my whole body, hair, and clothing was made up of Post-it notes. Yes, you read right: Post-it notes. The yellow kind. And I was trying to get through my job reading a tele-prompter, live on camera, in some kind of weather report on the TV news, all the while being twirled from side to side, my Post-it notes fluttering around as I spun in lazy loops, in a strange hydrocodone-induced invisible tornado. Strange, huh? The hydrocodone-highs really do make me feel like I am moving, like floating, or spinning. I only feel this at night though, when I don’t have any food in me.

When my mom came to wake me up at around 9am, I was not in as much pain as previously in the night. I took a few sips of water before I drank my medicine, but it still burned going down. My mom got the ice packs ready, and I went to sit on the couch to wait it out until I could drink the ice water. I also had a Slim-Fast, and a freezer pop. Then I fell asleep on the couch until about 11:30am. Being on the couch was better, because I could more easily sip on my water since I was half sitting up. At about 12noon, my mom made me a runny egg and toast, and I tried to eat it. It was incredibly painful to chew. My mom encouraged me to eat some of her pancakes that were really soft, and at that point I lost it. I finally started crying. I am just so tired of being in pain. I’m tired of not being able to open my mouth or chew or eat or swallow and of feeling weak from lack of food. I’m tired of this, period. I want to get better. I need to get better. I need to feel human again. And if that doesn’t start happening very soon, I don’t know what I will do. My mom hugged me when I started crying, and told me she knows I am done and that I will feel better soon. Feeling a little better, I wiped at the tears and my nose, and with dogged determination, ate the rest of the egg and all of the toast. By the end of the meal, it was less painful to eat.

My mom suggested that we watch a movie to take my mind off the pain, so we sat down to watch “The Secret Life of Bees”. About 15 minutes into the movie, it was time to take my medicine again, so we paused it, and I got some Jello with whipped cream and a yogurt to eat after it went into effect. I also got some pop (anything for calories) and of course, more ice water. I ate all of this while watching the rest of the movie. (Which is an extremely wonderful movie, I recommend renting it asap if you haven’t seen it!) So I was feeling better by the end of the movie, and then I spent some time on the computer until dinner. I drank my dose of Hycet about 10 minutes before we sat down. I decided I was going to eat dinner if it killed me, (Beef stew and a sweet roll, yum!) so I sat there for about a half-hour chewing and swallowing. Suddenly, I felt like I was swallowing more than I had put in my mouth. I wondered of some of the scab on the right side came off. I am about due for that to start happening. I continued eating until it just got too painful (I’d eaten about half) then I went to look at my throat. I could only see the top edge of the holes at first, and it looked very red right on the top, like it was starting to separate. I coaxed my mouth open more and saw that there was some pink/red staining in the right hole. The scabs are definitely getting stimulated when I eat normal food. I need to make myself eat more. My lower jaw feels swollen and sore right now, so I’m going to put an ice pack on it and see if I can get it loosened up enough to take some good pictures. The pain is better than before, but still definitely there. So I am allowing myself to be cautiously optimistic. Maybe I am starting to round the corner to healing! I sure hope so.

Well, I couldn’t open my mouth enough, but at least you can see how bright red the edges are in the picture here:

I am trying to make myself eat more regular food to speed things along, but it isn’t easy. It hurts so much! I’ll keep trying. Another update about the stool softeners – I did take one Saturday night and had a small BM on Sunday afternoon. Took another one last night, and had a better BM this afternoon. Still lots of bloating and gas, but I think that’s because I am still not eating enough solid food/fiber during the day. Hopefully that will get better as I force more normal food down my tortured throat. In the meantime, I am continuing with the nightly dose of stool softener.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 – Day # 6 of recovery

I went to bed last night at around 11pm. My mom and I realized last night that I need to refill my medicine today. I only have enough left for one day. Wow, I can’t believe I went through 600 mL of a narcotic drug, and I need more. I actually started feeling anxious when I thought of the possibility of not getting more of the painkiller. Not a good feeling. I slept a little better than usual last night, but was still in bad pain when I got up to take my 1:10am and 5:10am doses of Hycet. Now that the scabs are starting to come off, drinking cold water feels like sticking needles into my throat. The right side still hurts way more than the left side. They must have had to cut more out on that side. It was the worst tonsil.

I sat on the couch again after my 9:10am dose, and drank my slim-fast and water, with ice packs wrapped around my neck and jaw. I’m really getting tired of all the swelling. I want to get a good picture of what’s going on in there, but I can hardly open my mouth. And my tongue is huge and in the way all of the time. I’ve never had a problem flattening my tongue for an unobstructed view of my throat, so this swelling is very annoying to me. Not mention uncomfortable! I tried to eat an omelet and toast at about 9:30am, but had to give up halfway through because of the pain and because I got very sleepy. I went to lounge on the couch again, and my mom went to the pharmacy to get my refill. I slept on the couch until she got back at close to 12noon with my meds and a protein smoothie. I always feel worse when I wake up, but I tried to drink the smoothie right away. Bad idea. My ears blossomed in pain, and I couldn’t swallow more than a few sips. I almost started crying again, because I really wanted to be able to drink the smoothie for my mom. She was in a good mood when she came home, and I was disappointed that I couldn’t feel better for her. I promised her I would eat it after my 1:10pm dose, and spent the next 30 minutes with ice packs on my ears. Some friends stopped by at around 12:40pm and I still felt and looked like crap. They were very nice, and thankfully left after only about 10 minutes. I busied myself with brushing my teeth and washing my face and putting in my contacts, and generally trying to feel like a human again, until it was time for take my medicine. I asked my mom if she wanted to watch another movie, but she said she was going to take a nap. She seemed disappointed that I couldn’t feel better for her, too. I made myself not cry again, and took my medicine. I lugged the smoothie, a yogurt, and Jello with whipped cream to the couch with me, and ate them while I watched TV. The pain really is not as severe, but my spirits seem lower than ever. I was hoping even the little improvements would make me feel at the least relieved, at the most joyous… But I feel neither. Just tired, and still in pain. I did feel better by the time my mom woke up, and I made myself eat the buttered toast from my breakfast.

I took a shower, and by that time, my dad was home from work. He brought me a soft taco and a side of beans and cheese from Taco Bell, and after I took my 5:10pm dose, I felt hungry enough to try to eat it. Took me an hour, but I ate most of the taco, and about half the beans. I felt a mild scraping feeling in my throat while I ate, and I hoped that meant more of the scabs had come off. I did not feel quite as swollen, so I tried to see how far I could open my mouth, and happily, I was able to see into my holes. More of the stuff has definitely come off, and it’s looking more red/pink of fresh exposed skin, less of the white coating. My dad took today’s pictures, and both of my parents exclaimed happily over the change in my throat:

It looks like I am starting to reach the first glimmers of light at the end of the tunnel, at last! About darn time, I must say. I am really hoping that tonight will be less painful. I almost dread going to sleep at night, because getting up for medicine doses and making myself drink water in the dead of night are the worst part for me. I am looking forward to erasing that from my schedule as soon as possible. I’m ready to say, “I am better!” I hope to exclaim that from the rooftops very soon.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 – Day # 7 of recovery

I went to bed late last night, so when I got up at 1:10am, I thought I wouldn’t feel too bad, but I about choked on my dose of Hycet, and my throat burned really badly. Thankfully, the pain did subside pretty quickly, and I drank my big glass of water and went back to bed. When I woke up next at 3am, my mouth was very swollen and the burning sensation was spreading to the top of my mouth (the palate) and I was very annoyed. I got up and drank some water, which made it feel worse, and pondered what to do. So I have a confession to make. I broke down and took two ibuprofen tablets. I know I know! That is a no-no, and can thin your blood and increase the risk of bleeding... True. But I haven’t bled at all so far, and I really felt like I needed the anti-inflammatory properties. My mouth is so swollen, and I was miserable. It’s a fact that you can stagger acetaminophen and ibuprofen with no ill effects because they work in different ways on the body. So I took the ibuprofen and went back to bed to lie down. Within an hour, my mouth and jaw felt less swollen, and I actually overslept when my alarm went off at 5:10am for my next dose of Hycet. I ended up not taking it until about 5:45am. I slept until 9am, then went to the bathroom and sat on the couch with ice packs until about 9:45am, when I took my medicine. It burned less going down, and I was able to drink a Slim-Fast and more water and then I napped on the couch until about 12noon. I have been letting myself sleep late because I know I need sleep to heal, but I have been thinking that I need to get on a less extreme sleeping schedule by the end of this week, or I am going to be really miserable when I have to go back to work at 7:45am on Monday.

I started feeling much better as the afternoon went on. After my dose at 1:30pm, I even went out of the house with my mom to run a few errands. First time I have been out of the house in a full week! I can now swallow with very minimal pain. It is a glorious feeling! This afternoon I had my first bowl of cereal since my surgery. I let it get soft in the milk for a while, and it was delicious! Didn’t hurt going down. I had most of dinner today: a small piece of marinated chicken with baked potato and peas. It was very good. I had a piece of carrot cake this evening. I did take another two ibuprofen tablets at about 7pm. It is really helping with the swelling. I don’t need to use the ice packs on my neck and jaw anymore if I take the ibuprofen. I still haven’t had a bit of bleeding. Every time I look in my mouth (and I can see better now that the swelling is down!) I see more and more pink spots. I got a good picture this evening for you (and a few not so good pics):

This evening, I actually lost track of time watching So You Think You Can Dance (Awesome show!) and didn’t take my dose of Hycet until 10pm. And I took less than I usually do. I normally take one tablespoon, or three teaspoons, or 15 mL, but at 10pm I only took about 2 ½ teaspoons, or roughly 12.5 mL. Not a lot less, but I am starting to wean myself off the Hycet. I can’t take it when I go back to work, and I don’t want it to be a shock to my system. Besides, I don’t want to be on a strong narcotic drug for any longer than I really need to. It’s not good for you, or safe. Hycet can become addicting, and I do NOT want that at all! So, time for me to start saying goodbye to my little pink savior. It was my best friend while I needed it, but I am starting to not need it anymore. Hallelujah! After my dose of medicine, I got the strong tickling sensation on my right side again. I coughed enough that my parents came in and asked me nervously that I shouldn’t be coughing, right? Right. I took deep breaths and drank more water, and resisted the urge to cough more. It is still noticeable, but I am ignoring it successfully. I am happy to proclaim that today has, by far, been my best day so far! Yay!

Thursday, July 16, 2009 – Day # 8 of recovery

I went to bed last night at about 11pm. I woke up at 2am and took about two teaspoons of Hycet. My throat hurt, but not even close to how it usually hurts at night. I went back to bed and didn’t get up again until 6:30am. I took about 2 ½ teaspoons this time, because my throat and ears were hurting more. The pain went away quickly though, and I was able to drink my glass of water without having to wait for the medicine to kick in enough to swallow. Actually now after I take the Hycet, I can swallow without feeling hardly any pain. It is wonderful! I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I’ve switched to drinking cool or room temperature water now, instead of freezing ice water. The ice water feels like needles are jabbing me in the throat, I guess because the healing tissue is still very sensitive. But cool water feels good.

I slept in until 11am this morning. When I woke up, my throat felt dry, and it hurt to swallow, but not enough to make me wince like before. I took two teaspoons of the Hycet, and ate cereal for breakfast. I did not have a bowel movement at all yesterday, but I finally had a bowel movement today at around 12:30pm, but it was painful. I can’t remember if I took my stool softener last night… That may be why. I need to make sure to take it regularly. I did some paperwork to have my insurance apply the newly bought Hycet refill to my deductible, and I am going to try sending off for the $20 rebate again for the refill. I don’t see any small print that says you can only do it one time. It’s worth a shot to try. The worst they can say is that the refill is not eligible. But I’d like that $20 if I can get it!

My mom left this afternoon for her own doctor’s appointment, so I am home alone for a while. I spent the afternoon reading, and on the computer. I had cheese and crackers for lunch, and I think the rough edges of the crackers were good for scraping off more of the scabs. The right side has more pink spots than the left side, so I tried to swallow more on the left side to help it along. I took two more ibuprofen tablets at about 2pm. Its doing wonders for the swelling. I wish that I had plucked up the courage to take it before yesterday. I could have been a lot more comfortable. I did not take more Hycet until 4pm. That’s a whopping 5 hours in between doses! That’s a record for me. I only took two teaspoons again. I’m feeling quite good, and it is such a relief to not have to think about pain every single minute of the day.

My mom brought home some Buca di Beppo (Italian food) for dinner, and I ate some ravioli, cheese manicotti and garlic bread. The edges on the garlic bread were a little rough for my throat, so I only ate one piece. But I dipped some softer bread in balsamic vinegar and olive oil, and was pleasantly surprised that the vinegar did not really bother my throat. Score one for me! I also had a piece of carrot cake this evening, and another bowl of cereal before bed. I waited another 5 hours to take my next dose at 9pm. Again, I only took two teaspoons. My throat is looking better and better every day. Here are a few pictures we took tonight:

Friday, July 17, 2009 – Day # 9 of recovery

I didn’t go to bed last night until 12midnight. My tendency toward being a night owl is resurfacing again. I guess that means I’m getting back to my old self! I woke up at about 1:45am and took two teaspoons of Hycet. I did not sleep great; kept waking up, but was able to go back to sleep fairly quickly. When I got up next at 6am, I was hurting more, so I took 2 ½ teaspoons. I consoled myself with the reminder that nights are still the worst, and that I am still doing way better than before. One time after that, I woke up feeling like I was choking a little, but after I cleared my throat, I was okay. Just drainage getting caught in my throat I guess. I still haven’t had any bleeding at all, for which I am extremely grateful. I took two tablets of ibuprofen at 8am, and slept until 10am, when I got up for the day. I am really trying to get back to a normal sleep pattern in preparation for Monday when I go back to work. I took two teaspoons of Hycet at 10am. I have noticed that, besides the times that I am hurting more at night, or am overdue to take my medicine, I am not having the “normal” throat and ear pain that I have been enduring this whole time, but rather it is more that my throat muscles feel sore and tight and not used to the movements I want them to make. I’ve started yawning more the last few days, and that is painful. My throat muscles do not want to stretch like that. I know that it will just take time, and will probably not go away totally for several more weeks. I can live with it. My mom commented this morning that I am talking better. It’s true. Even during my worst pain now, I can still talk. During my worst pain before, I could not even think about talking. My mom would have to wait forever for me to be able to talk to her in the mornings, but now I don’t have a problem talking right away.

I had cereal for breakfast, and cheese and crackers again for lunch today. I took two more ibuprofen at about 12:30pm, but held off on the Hycet until 3:45pm. That’s almost 6 hours! And I only took 1 ½ teaspoons this time. I actually ate a ton for dinner – Pizza! I have been craving pizza the whole time was in excruciating pain and could not swallow anything. I had 2 pieces of pizza, strawberry shortcake dessert, and then later a piece of carrot cake. Yum! I did not take another two teaspoons of Hycet until 9pm. I am hoping that I will sleep better tonight… and maybe only get up once for medicine? We’ll see. I don’t want to rush things, but I am really feeling great and am doing sooo much better. It is like night and day. I just took two ibuprofen tablets at 11:30pm. The pictures for today show that my throat is looking good. Still have some patches of white, but hopefully it will be gone for good soon: